And so begins the cycle of life – amazing weekend, followed by a shittier-than-average Monday at work. If the foolproof ”1-2-3 serenity now!” doesn’t work, try these helpful hints (New York edition):

Go to any douche-bag store in Soho blasting crap music, and scream at the top of your lungs. No one will hear you.

Walk down any seedy Brooklyn neighborhood and just dare sleazy men to catcall you. You’ll be prepared to make grown men cry and/or keel over in pain. Carry a knife, just in case.

Take the train all the way down to Coney Island in the middle of the night. Either score some really good heroin or get stabbed. Misery over.

Disclaimer: These tips aren’t meant to be taken seriously. Life is precious. Enjoy the highs and lows while you can. “You just gotta keep on livin’ man, L-I-V-I-N.”

If all else fails, drinking til you pass out or banging a hot guy/girl always helps 😉