these actually happened.

q: what does it mean if you say “hi” to a guy and he always looks you up and down? is he attracted to me or is he looking at my weird outfits?

a: it means he’s a man.

q: if i’m dreaming about facebook, is this is a problem?

a: i’d say so.

q: what have you been smoking?

a: well, i did go to a wu-tang concert last night.

q: the guy cheezin on the left?

a: no, the one cheezin on the right.

q: is he italian?

a: nope. part irish, most sleaze.