we haven’t done this in awhile…like three days. these have been the hot topics of conversation around these lady (and menZ) parts lately.

they work 35 hours in france, so really, they probably only work 25 hours. the rest of the time is filled with cigarette breaks, espresso breaks and menage a trois…and baguette fights.

i reward myself for not having the bad habit of smoking by slacking off a few hours a day.

my eyes hurt from looking at crotches all day.

clean-shaven is the new hipster beard.

i wonder if my boss can see i’m dancing like a robot in my seat. i wonder if i’d get in trouble for it. i’m not mocking the workplace; i’m trying my hardest to tolerate it.

maybe that’s why he got muscles…so his nephews could call him uncle muscles.

who hires 15 year olds? six flags. maybe that’s why they went out of business.

i get annoyed when someone is too excited about something. what is that? hipster syndrome.

i’m turnin this robot up to turbo speed.

which is man and which is dog? where does one end and the other begin?

i think we are the only people who understand this language…the language of life.

judge upon not thine falsities but by thine art de facto.

what a great metafaux.

the cover of this book on workplace robotics looks like robot porn. maybe it’s about robots in the sex trade? i’m intrigued.

every johnny cash song can pretty much be summed up as, “ya blew it!”.

this 1985 tim and eric calendar actually ended up being wrong. what an impractical joke. i’ve been goofed.

let’s make a list of things we’ll abuse instead for lent. to start off: sex, drugs, alcohol, drug dealers, sexy alcoholic men, hairy men…