it’s happened. i’ve become one of those “old” people who refuses to buy into, much less pay attention to, anything going on in current pop culture. in my world, kids are still playing pokemon, watching power rangers and people with bad taste in music are still listening to maroon 5 and jason mraz – oops, that’s still true. unfortunately, i haven’t been able to completely avoid all recent pop phenomena; i live in the world, after all, and work for something of a culture think tank. one thing i can somewhat control, however, is exactly how much i have to know. here is what i’ve deduced all this shit means…from the point of view of, well, common sense.

hunger games – what all the top models play. (i win!)

angry birds – 1. new york pigeons.  2. delicious fruit snacks.

skrillex – 1. the next generation of the george foreman grill that gives you crispy diner-style eggs and bacon.  2. my next birthday gift.

words with friends – 1. what me and my fellow danglezzers play (i.e. completing each other’s sentences, jinxies, hybrid words, nonsensickles, spoonerisms, forkisms, adding a ‘z’ to everything).  2. the heated confrontation when your bf cheats on you with your bff.

karmin – ethical toilet paper.

instagram – 1. teddy grahams delivery service.  2. a retro-modern telegraph sold by urban outfitters.

pinterest – 1. fans of harold pinter.  2. british slang for, “would you like a spot of beer?”.

lana del rey –

get off my fuckin lawn!