memorial day – memorialize YOUR FACE.

4th of july – YOUR MOM’S fireworks.

labor day – YOUR MOM’S a tool.

thanksgiving – eat YOUR MOM’S turkey (yeah that’s about right).

hanukkah – light a candle for YOUR FACE for the next 8 days.

christmas eve – YOUR MOM’S a ho ho ho.

christmas – i’ll open YOUR MOM’S presents (this works too in real life).

new years eve – 3….2…..1…..happy new year to YOUR FACE.