1.  secretly open up all the butt seams in their pants from the closet.

2.  yell “RAPE” next time you are with them in a Wal-Mart parking lot. (this can work for guys too)

3.  mix in any kind of diarrhea inducer with their drinks at a club.

4.  go ahead and take that Bedazzler out from under your bed and flair up your wardrobe for your man/woman/animal.

5.  do robin williams impersonations the whole time you are shopping or at church with your sig fig.

6.  toilet paper the trees outside of your house and blame it on the neighborhood kids.

7.  steal their cell when they aren’t looking and re-record their away message to “sorry i cannot answer the phone because i am currently trying to sell my children.”

 

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