1. you’ll lose a lot of weight, due to depression….and not laying around eating pizza and watching movies with your boyfriend all the fucking time.

2. you can dust off that mix tape with cure and mazzy star songs that you save for special occasions such as this.

3. you can watch all the sappy, feel-good rom coms you want to, whilst binge-drinking boxed wine, without any shame.

4. no more anxiety about who’s going to call/apologize first after a fight. (spoiler alert: it will always be you.)

5. you’ll have the tiny bed in the tiny room of your tiny apartment all to yourself now.

6. you’ll save yourself the hassle of commuting to your boyfriend’s ghetto-ass apartment…in the ghetto.

7. no more awkward meetings between your friends and family.

8. you now have plenty of time to read that book you’ve been meaning to get to, learn a language and take up a new religion.

9. you can now bang that bartender you secretly had a crush on.

10. your sense of humor will officially be restored, and friends who were secretly annoyed by your coupledom will actually start to like you again.

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