Archives for posts with tag: entertainment

1. only kind of doctor i want to marry is a spin doctor.


2. missed connections :
where?= bel air
who? = a fresh prince


3. what do you get when you put 4 brunettes together in a room?
answer = 4 non blondes.


4. “hold me closer tony danza.”


5. smells like teen spirit, the deodorant.


6. if i have triplets, i’ll name them tony, toni, tone.



i’ve got standards………..i’ll accept anything.

if you watch enough nature shows, you will see why men suck.

i wish i were triracial.

half weird, half awesome.

we’re best friends, except she’s like a guy you meet who never ends up calling or wanting to hang out.

work. i think this is how people become alcoholics.

i hate the players and the game.

never too young for a good smack on the backside.

he wanted to have your babies………i’d pity those babies.

poot my tang.

just wear a sars mask, and draw a frown on it.

now that google knows that i don’t want to support children, they’re going to throw adoption ads in my face.

can my drag queen name be adolf hitler?

what kind of robin williams are you?

he’s an asshole and says weird things all the time………sounds like the perfect man.

there are some cute bald guys. billy zane, for instance. i think all the hair went to his eyebrows.

note to self: when accused of murder, don’t act so cheery all the time.

he’s so nice. i think he may be a serial killer.

don’t trust anyone not wearing a costume for halloween.

for all the schooling he got, he is such an idiot.

he was laughing so hard, but i could tell he was dying inside. so balanced, in a manic way.

it’s time to celebrate the low points in your life………i do that every day.

enter my net.

this criminal does not know how to operate.

that’s not the kind of bad publicity we want……..actually, it is.

working in fashion is about looking as cute as you can in clothes you bought at salvation army and spending all your money on champagne. even though you’re really on welfare and trading food stamps in for booze.

“no” to nudity, “yes” to more hairy men.

too bad you can’t pick your own fans. now i know how bieber feels.

we’re going for that trailer park demographic. like rick perry.

did i choose this google background, or did it choose me?

i feel sick, metaphorically and physically. metaphysically? no.

it would be nice to provoke strong feelings, even negative ones.

every great idea has its enemies. and then the enemies will emulate it and become more successful than you.

maybe we can get a tv deal out of this. or at least an ipod.

close your eyes and picture success: raz riding next to us, fake tropical background. they pull it away, and we are actually on the beach…in galveston.

we need a “genius” button.

it was the kind of awkwardness you feel when you just had a sex dream about someone.

this is how it usually goes: he says something ridiculous, then i say some truth, and then he tells me i’m wrong.

pick up a pair of clear heels while you’re at it. it’ll be a good way to open up some canned foods. and look like a slut at the same time.

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