Archives for posts with tag: office space

1. Steal supplies from work:


2. Find a judge officiant who is also a DJ:


4. Tell guests there will be no alcohol due to the number of recovering alcoholics in the family:

83385944 Unhappy man with a glass of wine


1.  Trilogy writer

2.  Button maker

3.  Writer of rap songs

4.  Sex HOTline

5.  Businesswomen suit designer

6.  Racebook

7.  Midget matchmaker

8.  Matchmaker of alcoholics

9.  ‘Time & Erica’ spinoff show

10. Child clown outlet store, for men

I have a boss who likes to:
(a)  Misdial people’s numbers and blames you for giving him incorrect numbers.

(b)  Only reads half of the spreadsheet you provided him and registers himself for the wrong courses and blames you.

(c)  Tells you that you shouldn’t have emailed him asking for his advice, but doesn’t want you to make any decisions.

(d)  Tells you that they don’t have time to train you, that you are just supposed “to know.”

(e)   Calls you at home around 10pm because he just didn’t have time to micromanage your project during normal business hours.

(f)  Suspends you for posting a nasty email written by him on facebook that didn’t say the name of the company and used generic first names.

(i)  Says comments like “You aren’t into older men, are you??”

(j)  Blames you for not reserving a hotel for him when he didn’t tell you he needed one.

(k)  Makes you drive across the city to unlock a door that has already been unlocked (by him).

(l)  All of the above.

“i completely understand what you are saying.”

trading card #5:

stats: annoyance of office work and office people
resolution: wear these and take a nap at the office while people are talking to you and/or getting you to do work for them.
bonus points: wear these without a shirt

sorry, i just can’t “fake it” anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i guess i am just genetically superior to everyone who follows orders and obeys…..what were the aliens thinking when they matted with us?

i am ridiculously dissatisfied with my current  job that i thought it would be funny to start wearing only 80s and 90s power suits such as the ones above to work in order to amuse myself.  i may even surprise myself and get a raise from this (they will think i am a serious worker, serious about my businesswoman career, and serious about my life).  no smiling allowed……seriously.  and one more thing: just look busy at all timeZ.

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