Archives for posts with tag: reality

1. Steal supplies from work:


2. Find a judge officiant who is also a DJ:


4. Tell guests there will be no alcohol due to the number of recovering alcoholics in the family:

83385944 Unhappy man with a glass of wine


sorry, i just can’t “fake it” anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i guess i am just genetically superior to everyone who follows orders and obeys…..what were the aliens thinking when they matted with us?

10.  when the dirty truck/van drivers slow down their vehicle from 60 mph to 5 mph just so they can stare at you (in a Mona Lisa-esk way) as you walk past them.

9.  standing really close to you and whispering the word “sexy” as if they were undressing you with their words.

8.  “heeeey, you Koreaaan?  i’ve never been with a Koreeaaan gurl before….” (yes, i guess that’s all you need to say to someone to win them over….)

7.   “america’s next top model—-Tokyo.”

6.  “your legs are looking good this morning.” (and yes, a catcall on the way to work…. 8am)

5.  when an old man from Chinatown sticks his tongue in and out of his 2 fingers at you on the subway.  (myyyy god…)

4.  whistling, hollering, making cricket chirping noises, etc.

3. someone giving me a catcall in the dead of winter while i was wearing a huge unisex Paddington bear coat (do they just assume ANYONE is female…..and attractive?)

2.  when they try to run you over with their car while you are jogging outside.

(annnnnnndd………drum roll please……….)

1.  “i’m gunna cum in yo mouuuuth.”

1. google imaged PM Dawn

2. posted obscene, yet clever blogs

3. made coffee

4. copied and pasted link to Pootie Tang trailer into my gchat window

5. posted new James Franco film description on facebook

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